Many couples have gone through decades together without apparent problems. One day they file for a divorce that completely stuns their friends and family. People are shocked because they thought these two were the perfect couple. They never fought in public, always agreed on basic issues and seemed so happy together. This is a case of the relationship appearing to be much better in public than it really is at home.
Two people do not always agree on every issue. One of the most important issues a couple in a relationship will agree on is the need to keep their disagreements private. A successful couple may seem to never have any strife in their relationship. Discord still exists, but the couple works hard to keep it out of the public eye. This is the main reason people believe the couple’s life together is perfect.
Friends and family often feel at odds when the perfect couple dissolves their relationship. They cannot choose sides because they suddenly realize they don’t even know the issues between the two. Being supportive is difficult because they always believed no relationship support was necessary. Friends and family may flounder for a while before they are able to assist either person. They need to get past the shock of the event and process it so they can react.
Maintaining privacy in a long term relationship is important for its continued success. If everyone knows all about what happens behind closed doors, it takes away the intimacy of the relationship. This does not mean shutting down all lines of communication. Friends and family may be kept out of the loop, but a good counselor may be able to help the couple before the relationship is completely gone. Investing time in realistic communication with each other may keep the relationship healthy and whole so it will be as good as it appears.